Say Cheese!

By By Linda A. Prussen-Razzano

Featured Rightgrrl April 1999
March 17, 1999

"Clinton Watching" is a sport unto itself.

Some people passionately monitor sports, some ardently follow authors, and others earnestly chase prized antiques. No matter the person, almost everyone has something that piques their interest and demands their immediate attention.

I, myself, am a Clinton Watcher.

They never fail to amaze me, this unique brand of species. As soon as I think I've cataloged all their strange habits, have secured the details of their bizarre brand of behavior, I must reorganize this information in light of newer, even weirder discoveries.

Despite the state of flux in which they seemingly exist, one fact remains indomitable and constant: they will make news, if only to shape the news.

For example, when Gennifer Flowers went public with her infamous tapes and confession detailing her long-term affair with Bill, the Clintons called on Hollywood friends to produce a "documentary". This "documentary" (since it's based purely on fantasy, I must use the term loosely) on the Clintons' personal life portrayed a reconciled, cohesive, traditional family unit that had "moved on" from the sullied past of a dalliance. They ran the talk-show gamut, smiling adoringly all the way. Snap, snap! Gennifer was forgotten.

When Bill's harsh anti-military sentiment continued to haunt him, he trotted off to the sacred ground of Normandy to attend the anniversary services. Strolling along the beach, he conveniently happens upon a pile of rocks. Our beloved Commander in Chief, in a moment of personal introspection, kneels down on the once blood-soaked sand and builds a makeshift cross out of the stones. Snap, snap!

Too bad other photographers had already taken pictures of the beach before his staff planted those rocks.

Nevertheless, the reverent phony cross was flashed on the news.

More recently, when Monica's dirty dress forced him to finally confess that yes, they did have an affair, shortly thereafter we were presented with the picture of Bill looking so presidential as he scurried back to the White House to discuss the bombing of Afghanistan. It didn't matter that we were allegedly performing a counter-terrorist activity (in violation of international law), it didn't matter that he had discussed the possibility of bombing with his advisors days prior (but kept Shelton on a short-leash), it didn't matter that we bombed an aspirin factory (not the terrorists)…with a quick snap, snap! Monica was no longer the top story.

Yes, I'm so used to White House orchestrated events usurping meaningful news stories, I snored my way through the State of the Union Monty Hall Production, the "outrage" over the fluff piece by People Magazine, and the Hillary-For-Senate debacle.

But this latest row between our First Couple pulled me right back in.

Why, I wondered, why would Hillary now explode in open disgust over Bill's predatory ways? She suffered through Gennifer Flowers, Elizabeth Ward Gracen, Dolly Kyle Browning, Paula Jones, Kathleen Willey, Monica Lewinsky, and countless others. Did Juanita Broaddrick's credible and shocking allegations of rape finally push her hot button?

I think not.

They needed a diversion…a major diversion….from the unfolding tainted blood scandal and the resurgence of Burton's Chinagate leads. The Cox report, released several weeks ago, strongly suggests that we did illegally transfer sensitive missile launching technology to Communist China; hence, Hillary runs for the Senate. Snapity snap snap! With thousands of AIDS, HIV, or Hepatitis C infected-Canadian hemophiliacs turning to Washington for restitution, and pointing damning figures at Bill Clinton, the First Lady finally gets her knickers in a twist.

Given the serious nature of these charges, the inherent danger in angering our friendliest Northern neighbor, and, now, the fury of the French in Europe, I suspect many fragile objects at the White House will be broken in the weeks to come.

In other words, buy film now!

This article copyright © 1999 by Linda A. Prussen-Razzano and may not be reproduced in any form without the express written consent of its author. All rights reserved.